It’s pretty normal for two people who have lived together for a while to rub each other the wrong way at times. A few days ago, my husband and I had a disagreement. Okay, an argument. When I went to bed afterwards, I could tangibly feel the wall I put up beside me as I turned away from him. I recalled what my mother had told me her mother had told her about marriage, “Never go to bed mad.” Ya, well, forget that. I’m not ready to let this go yet.
Sound familiar? After we have an argument, we know that we should just let it go, apologize and move on. But it’s not that easy. For a while after the argument, that stubborn resistance to movement and outreach blocks us because we’re not done being mad yet. I knew as I was laying in bed that I should work on Opening my Heart but I couldn’t—at least not yet. So I indulged my hurt ego for a few moments as I silently continued to counter my husband’s words in my isolated corner.
After a bit of restless sleep, I woke up during the night with small thoughts tugging at my conscience. I knew I couldn’t go on being upset. I had to deal with these feelings.
I did my Full Calm technique that infuses all my major chakras with calm. This calms my body physically and my being emotionally, mentally and spiritually. Once my entire being is calmer, it’s much easier to Open My Heart. (Small Scale, Daily Healing: Healing Strategy #3: Practice Easy Visualizations)
I Open My Heart so that I can look at the situation more clearly and more objectively. Ironic how we think of our heart and love as subjective tools and yet, when we use them, we remove our ego, we are more open to the big picture and, as a result, we see situations more objectively. (Small Scale, Daily Healing: Healing Strategy #3: Practice Easy Visualizations)
With my entire being calm and my heart open, I was ready to re-examine the situation without my ego. I reflected on why we argued and how we argued, and determined what I could do next time to get my points across more calmy. (Small Scale, Daily Healing: Healing Strategy #1: A 4-Step Process for Personal Growth)
Finally, I breathed some unconditional love into my body and being to acknowledge that, even though it was hard, we worked through this issue and were moving forward. Good job. (Small Scale, Daily Healing: Healing Strategy #2: Build an Attentive, Compassionate Relationship with your BFF—Body Friend Forever)
The next day, my husband and I both, at the same time, looked at each other and said we were sorry. Apologizing didn’t mean one was right and one was wrong; it just meant we were willing to put our egos aside and move forward. Heck, we’re both strong minded and stubborn and life happens. Good to know I’ve got tools I can use to cross each threshold as it comes.